Pejuang Impian

Suatu hari di dalam lin selepas pulang mengajar, Hannah tanyakan pada aku dan Ika yang hanyut dengan lagu dari henfon kami.

“Lepas balik nanti, apa korang akan rindu?”, ringkas soalan Hannah. 

Aku serta merta menjawab, “Floridina!!”.

Aku tak begitu ingat jawapan si Ika. Tetapi aku takkan lupa jawapan si Hannah yang aku perlekeh. 

“Aku?”, Hannah berjeda. “Lin.”, dia ketawa kuat sambil merenung keluar.

Sesekali lin menggoyangkan badan kami akibat bonggolan di jalan dan trafik Banyuwangi yang boleh buat orang KL pun angkat tangan.

‘Tak kot.’, ini komen aku dari dalam hati. 

Sekarang, aku menyesal atas apa yang pernah aku katakan lewat bulan Mei tahun 2016 itu.

Hannah, of all things we disagree upon, there’s one thing I must admit. About the lin, you’re right.

Evening.

I just watched Boyhood. I encountered a beautiful song. Its Hero sang by Family of the Year. 

Here is the beautiful lyrics. 

Let me go

I don't wanna be your hero

I don't wanna be a big man

Just wanna fight like everyone else

Your masquerade

I don't wanna be a part of your parade

Everyone deserves a chance to

Walk with everyone else

While holding down

A job to keep my girl around

And maybe buy me some new strings

And her and I out on the weekend

And we can whisper things

Secrets from my American dreams

Baby needs some protection

But I'm a kid like everyone else

So let me go

I don't wanna be your hero

I don't wanna be a big man

I just wanna fight like everyone else

Life is tiring if you try so hard to please people. To be their hero. To be the best in every stairs. 

I said I watched Boyhood. I got the chance to watch the most beautiful scene. Towards the end of his Boyhood, Mason moved out of his mom's house, drove his truck to college with dessert engulfing his journey. The music played...and here the beautiful moment began. 

As the lyrics said, I don't want to be your hero anymore Mama. Let me be me. Let me bleed. Let me fight like everyone else. Don't expect too high of me. I'm trying my best at my best conscience. Please spare me. Let me go. 

Grant me my beautiful escaping. 

Entchuldigung. Bitte. 

Selamat pagi. Assalamualaikum. 

Pernah terfikir kenapa nak muka cantik, badan sihat, badan langsing, kulit cerah, nak pakai canti-cantik? 

Jangan ingat awak seorang je yang teringin. Saya pun. 

Tapi. 

Pernah tanya kat diri untuk apa kita teringin semua benda tu?

Nak tarik perhatian lelaki/ perempuan?

Nak bermegah?

Nak puaskan hati sendiri?

Nak rasa konfiden?

Nakkan perhatian orang?

Saya punya tujuan semua yang kat atas tu pernah terdetik dalam hati. Sumpah. Tak tipu.

Tapi itu dulu. 

Kini, saya ada  tujuan baru. 

Yang lebih bersifat akademik dan ada nilai estetika. 

Tujuan saya ialah;

nak pulangkan pada PENCIPTANYA nanti dalam keadaan paling baik. 

Sebab jasad saya bukan saya punya. 

It is something borrowed to me. 

Dah pinjam kenalah jaga elok-elok. 

Ye idok?

Assalam. 

Have you heard of Flipped movie?

If not then I don't mind telling you what I mean. 

I bet you know what FLIPPED is. 

You just not sure of the context.

FLIPPED in the movie shows condition whereby Bryce the main actor who at first refused to love his neighbour since childhood, Julie back, turned to love her. Its a flipped situation. Therefore, the title is Flipped. 

So, what business it has to do with RAYA? 

It has.

Over the years, I often complained of how many guests coming to my house for the sake of  meeting last eldest standing on earth (my grandma). It has caused me exhaustion, slightly depression, over annoyance and somehow acute hatred towards RAYA. 

But hey 2016 RAYA is something!

I decided to change my point of view towards guests. If I often see them with my eyes, now I'm going to use my knee. Oh come on, can you at least smile so that I don't sound silly to crack a joke here. 

Now I don't see guests as a group of people who's going to drag me to face tons of glasses and piles of plates to clean, making my hands a man's hand who spend his whole life rubbing on wood. Just use imagination. Instead of using this option, I put on my kindness lens on my eyes. I can smile now though while doing the cleaning, cleansing and drying. 

Because I change my point of view. 

I see them as groups of people carrying with them a bucket. They stepped into the house holding an empty bucket then later went away with a bunch full of SINS from our house into their empty bucket. Easy huh? 

So, doing dishes is no longer a hassle now guys. There're tons of SIN-CLEANSING bucket carrier coming to your doorstep. Be prepared guys! 

Don't forget to wear your big smile. 

Rileklah.

A photo posted by Irsalina Binti Isa (@irsalinaisa) on Jul 7, 2016 at 3:55am PDT

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri 2016 guys. May God accept our Ibadah in the left behind Ramadhan. May God bless us. 

Hi.

Its me.

Again.

I think, in the field of friendship and acquantainceship, there is a thin line differing both party.

CONCERN line.

I don't mind much seeing any of my acquaintances blessed with a good opportunity. 

They are not much of my concern.

I too don't mind much seeing my best friends blessed with the same opportunity.

But, for them, I concern.

A lot. 

Not that I'm not happy for them. 

I just feel a bit bitter. 

Orang kata, kau akan sedih bila kawan kau gagal.

Tapi kau juga akan sedih bila kawan kau berjaya. 

Apa maknanya tu?

Its a bittersweet reality. 

Its a brutal bittersweet reality. 

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